Just venting...

 

I feel very disappointed when I can't make myself understood. But there are people who just don't want to try to understand. They are set in their own opinion, like a closed door. There is nothing you can say that will change that. 

I am not asking for you or anyone else to agree with me. I don't think that I ever cared about what most people thought of me. However, there are a few people whom I don't even want to care about, but I care. Because there are some people in our lives who were made for us to care about them in everything they do or think.  But can I honor that when I am always being misunderstood? When all my explanations go down the drain without a single consideration? Or sometimes a few words are picked up and thrown back at me, like I said, with the sole purpose of offending?

Have you ever felt that way?

There is an order in the universe that we can't change. Unless one comes to this world broken, defective. We were made to please God and honor our parents. That is the law; you can even say this is natural law.

Because even if you say you don't believe in God or any god, still, in the back of your mind, you feel the need to please someone. But the only person who will truly love you and understand you without ever, I say ever, misplacing the words or turning the tables, and misjudging you is Jesus. 

If you knew what it meant for God to put on a human body and love us despite everything, and break the cycle of death and violence, you would say that a person who believes in Jesus can never dishonor their parents on purpose. Because when you love God, you want to please Him. We please Him by obeying. So, our relationship with our neighbor should mirror our relationship with God. That is what Jesus meant by "love one another for this is the Law and the prophets." We fulfill the law when we love one another. Jesus said this, but this is written first in Leviticus.

I love God, and I do my best (it will never be good enough) to love my neighbor as it is written. 

So, when I am misunderstood, and I am not given the chance to express better, or when I am ignored, this causes in my a feeling of failure. It is heavy. Because when I look at my life, I become blind and unable to see all the blessings God has given me. I start thinking that I have been a failure, a fake all along.

Jesus, my Lord, forgive me. I am nothing without you. I love you and your Law. You have written it in my heart, and yet I often fall short. We all do. Thank you for loving me anyway. Thank you for dying for me so I won't perish because of my shortcomings.

You know my heart.